Some Seasons are Cloudy...

So I think this will be short.

I've been forced to ponder the fact that some seasons in life are rather cloudy and others really clear. Its easy to talk about these things metaphorically as it allows us to mask the depth of our troubles or fears. This season seems to have become a little cloudy for me. I can just about see the sun peering through it all but the fear of rain and thunder can be so overwhelming at times.

Failure and the ability to overcome it is a big thing in my life. I think I have had a good balance of successes and failures in my life and I have a good ability to brush myself off and keep climbing that mountain. However, it seems that the older I get, the less acceptable failure becomes. And the harder it is to deal with.

Furthermore, the more I pray for something, the harder it is when it doesnt come to pass. Then it becomes not about the failure but about the prayer. And its interesting to realise that not everything you pray for will come to pass because its God's will, and therefore it becomes an option to stop praying for some things altogether because God will give it to you whether you pray or not right? Wrong? Prayer is powerful but it is also difficult reasoning with something you can only see good in but God sees (and knows) something different of so chooses to keep it from you till its time.

Complicated I think. So despite the fact that the clouds above me could produce numerous seasons to come and despite the fact that I am no nearer to understanding or reasoning with qadr I think for now its best to take each day as it comes.

I often describe the struggles of life as the mountain we are climbling to attain a certain goal. When the skies are clouded it may be hard to see to the top, when its raining you may just slip a little but when that sun comes out...and you've soldiered through all the seasons...well...I'll see you at the top!

Still smiling.