Kenyan Diaries Part 1: Our People Shouldn't Be Living Like This

I have been itching to write...here are my thoughts from a few days ago.
So its day 3 and I have finally had my first blog worthy experience. My eyes swelled heavily as I held back the tears beneath my sunglasses as our mini van descended through the Kibera slums of Kenya. The second biggest slum in Africa. This slum is home to 1.5 million people and I looked over it. Breath. These 1.5m live below the poverty line. No fresh water, electricity supply, education, technology, food...the list goes on. Looking over the sea of tin roofs was deeply sad.

We visited a school and despite it being a Sunday there were children from the slums taking extra classes. The school could only accommodate 400-500 people. Think of this in consideration of the amount of people there are in the slum and there are only about 5 schools in the whole slum.

The little children were of course full of joy and excitement as they ran beside our bus shouting and waving. Smiling and posing for us as we took pictures. The look of elation on their faces as we showed them the pics we took was priceless.

My emotions didn't allow me to interact with them as I would have loved as I was so overwhelmed. I had no words. It was interesting however seeing the other volunteers interact with them though. I noticed the children seemed slightly more excited to see the white volunteers. Though today's experience was completely different I definitely felt that on that day but I didn't mind. I am a sister after all. Today a head teacher said seeing us creates hope for them and I like to think that me being black as well means its even more hope that they will feel as I mirror them so they will come to believe black people can and do prosper.

Part of me does wish that there were a lot more ethnics on this trip though the 7 of us are holding it down and we have all (all volunteers) bonded so well!!

I felt my heart was connected the the people a bit more than the others. This is my home land after all and Kenya is so unbelievably beautiful. Every aspect of it. The slums even reflect beauty. Its amazing and I am so blessed.

So when we got back on the minibus after talking to the amazing headmaster who told us all about the school and the talented children who finish but end up back in the slum; I began to bawl quietly on the way back. I was caught though. It was just so overwhelming I cant even explain it. Sometimes I resent my sensitivity!

Anywho, so much more to say but so little time! I just feel so blessed. Thank God EVERYDAY!!!

In the ghetto now though. It's hard core our here but I'll save those details for my next entry.

Peace and Love to you all!!!

KENYA KENYA KENYA!!!

4 days to go and I'm super super excited!!It almost feels to good to be true...my next post will by God's grace come all the way from the motherland...read my first post for more info on my journey!!!

Liallah Vintage with Love!!!

Liallah Vintage is my new vintage line in which I buy and sell unique unworn vintage pieces!!!

Its had a very good run on Facebook so far so I shall be continuing on in the summer and hopefully launching Liallah Vintage Retro Line!!! Unlike the vintage pieces I will actually be buying and customising mainly tops, cardigans and jumpers...so watch this space!!

Here's a few of the current line...these have all sold though!!

BTW...it's not me in the pics, she's one of my ladies...fly girl!!

When will race become invisible?

This could be a potentially long one!!

Anyone who knows me knows how passionate I am about race equality! Being president of my university Afro Caribbean Society was such a triumph for me; not so much because of the success and recognition we got but because of what I was exposed to and the people I met. And representing Ethnic Minorities in our union council was such a privilege because I got to see the inner politics of race issues within the university system.

But a year down the line and having steered away naturally from the student race equality movement I see so many problems that can’t be ignored.

I almost came to the conclusion once that in life and society there will always be an underdog. There will always be the one who is ugly, poor, unintelligent, lacking in status, problematic and so on. And I almost believed that for some reason it just happened that society had allowed this underdog to become people of a certain race. Now I don’t believe that there is an underdog race at all as we are all equal in God BUT I do believe society, since slavery, has created an underdog race and sometimes, just sometimes I question when, considering we are nearing the end days, we will climb up from the pit we have somewhat been reduced to.

Now this comes from me, who will soon to be entering (Ia) the city in one of the high flying city law firms like the ones I have interned with. I think the legal world and the questionable things I have witnessed within it is one reason why I’m so aware of the seclusions our white brothers have subjected us to. Each law firm I’ve been to has less than a handful of ethnic minority solicitors. Needless to say most of these minorities are not black and definitely not visible Muslims. I find myself browsing through law firms website links to all the members of staff trying to count the ethnic minority partners and solicitors. Always a complete and utter disappointment.

Now I’m not saying I need and must work with black or other EM’s to be happy at work but coming from South East London, having been socialised in an area which at least appears in my eyes to be predominately BME populated I almost need it. This is said not in ignorance but after having spent 3 years in Leeds being one of only 3 other black home students who graduated from law in a class of over 200 I know what I want. And after spending 3 weeks on an internship with a mix of races (well 12 white and 3 BME) finding that it was so hard to be real with these people, I know what kind of working environment I want – mixed race! And I’m down for being the first black female solicitor at a firm, paving the way for the rest but it still annoys me that in 2010, that is likely to be the case!

I question and wonder when we will truly get what we deserve. I wonder when our men won’t take up the most space in prisons. I wonder when the police will stop victimising us. I wonder when the city will really let us in and stop posting futile ethnic minority statistics when they know very well they have a hidden screening process. I question when black intellect will be celebrated and not just black athletes and musicians. I wonder when we ourselves will come to realise that we have so much more to offer than that anyway. I wonder when the worst areas in London or any cosmopolitan city in Britain won’t be overflowing with BME’s. Whether it’s because we’re not placed there by local councils or we just stop flocking together. And I really wonder when society will allow us to elevate ourselves up to where we want to be.

I wouldn’t change my ‘urban’ upbringing for the world. I’m so proud to have gone to a below average school because it’s armed me with so much and my dearest friends blossomed from there also. I’m even prouder that I went to a university so far away as it opened my eyes to so much. I’m not bitter at all. I hope I’m not but I’m real.
I don’t believe that every aspect of the deprivation of black people is down to slavery but I also see truth in a lot of the connections. Nor do I believe that we should forget our past as the stories I know of our forefathers who fought for equality only encourage me to fight harder.

Whether we like it or not BME’s are constantly fighting in the west because it is a white man’s world. And I don’t mean that in a silly bitter Black Panther (as I’ve been dubbed) kind of way, I mean it realistically. Now that’s not to say we are the only disadvantaged group. I’m also a woman and I’m Muslim, I could write for pages about that. But one thing I don’t see enough of in our communities is the unity. We’re so busy being divided by continents (African v Caribbean), countries (Nigerians v Ghanaians), religions (Muslim v Christian), tribes (Yoruba’s v Igbo’s) and so on that we forget that if we are not united we are going to remain the underdog and we’ll get laughed at at the same time! If we can’t love each other and lift each other up how do we expect those who keep us down to allow us to come up?

I intend to keep fighting in my own self and keep the faith that we will prosper not only in this country but in the motherland. I’m sure I’ll blog again about problems within Africa (based on what I see in Kenya) that relate to racism and stem from slavery and colonisation soon!

But I just wanted to share my thoughts on that. I want to be a leader in my own right. Do my thing as a future solicitor, business woman, mother and wife and most importantly a lover of God. Let’s keep lifting each other like me and my ladies do!!
I’ll see you at the top!!!

Shout outs!!

Shout out to my fellow lawyers – Kafayah Uthman, Crystal Debrah, Krystal AJ, Daphine Wilson, Kemi O, Lucille Amenu...

Ola Akinlade – future director of Fashion Workroom and PR Company” (Your charisma will take uu so far)

Tina Oshikoya – Co Founder of Kosher

Mary Adetunji – Fashion extraordinaire

Marian Ogun – Superwoman ready to develop the world

Labake Oloyede – First friend to already be in her career – doing something beautiful n teaching!

Layo Agunbiade – Flyest Mum I know!!

Abimaro Suit – Amazing songstress – music with wings.

Doyin Oyegoke – Soon to be big time journalist!

Charlotte Nana Yaa Owusuwaa – Air hostess

And the many more amazing BME’s doing it because we can and should!!!

TO BE CONTINUED....

Can males and females really be ‘just friends’ or better yet ‘best friends’ ?

So clearly this blog doesn’t have anything to do with the last but it’s something I’ve been thinking about for years!!!

I don’t have many males I can really call my friends. Mainly because Islamically it is not encouraged at all but also because I have rarely been able to maintain a friendship with a male because I either don’t care enough to or can’t because I know there’s a risk of the friendship becoming something it shouldn’t!

One thing I have realised is that my 24 year old brother is pretty much enough anyway. He gives me exactly what a male friend can. He’s funny, silly, cool, dresses well and is very honest! Although we are really different, he’s real with me. If I have a ‘dude’ problem or issue he tells me straight ‘he’s gassing, he’s a player’ etc’ and in truth what more do I need?!

I think I have been put off being too close to impressionable guys who are not ready for a young woman like me...I know it sounds cocky but this whole ’I really respect you’ thing can turn into admiration and then it turns into like. And I know how I am sometimes. You know when you say certain deep things that you know someone will be moved by, not to impress them because it is what you genuinely think but just so you can see how they react...well that has led to trouble with me! I knew one guy a while ago who I was cool with. Saw him as just a friend but we’d have deep conversations because for some reason I was open with him n him with me. I actually think I thought of him as a lil bro because I knew he was impressionable and needed guidance. Next thing I know the guy starts acting weird n saying certain things. So then I have to be careful how long my birthday txt is to him or question his motives when he asks me to go cinema with him alone (not that I would have gone anyway). That’s annoying, from when a dude comes at me like that when it aint that...the friendship needs to get locked!!Because everything changes...

Or when you meet a guy who your super cool with n he acts like its just a friendship thing and then you find out from whoever that he actually likes you. Then suddenly all the phone calls suddenly make sense! Then things are weird between you and you can’t look him in the eye or you duck him when you see him coz for u it really aint dat!! Them ones are even more annoying because you loose that friendship in a way. You have to be careful how close you get to that person, all the while pretending you don’t know how they feel!Leaving them baffled and annoyed!

Then there’s the situation in which perhaps you know someone liked you but you just want to be friends. If there is one thing I know about certain dudes is that when a guy wants something from you he can be super duper persistent. ’On it like sonic’, one of my friends used to say! More so than he would for any other platonic female friend. But as soon as that reason diminishes, either because he just aint on it no more or he can’t be bothered with the chase, the ‘friendship’ gets locked too. But what is annoying here is when you spend time getting to know someone having told them you want to be friends and once they clock that it aint going their way they bounce! One thing I think dudes don’t realise is that a lot of us females don’t sacrifice our time with a dude for no reason. I certainly don’t! If u aint my husband or brother I don’t have to talk with you. But if I choose to develop a friendship with you because you imposed it the least I should expect is that the friendship lasts! What’s the point in being open with someone and making them your friend for them to then just 360 because it’s not what they wanted.

But on the flip side I think females can be a bit selfish in that respect. If a dude likes you he don’t really wanna be your friend! My brother used to tell me that all the time! He’ll stick through all your ‘I just wanna be friends’ talk in the hope that you’ll change your mind. But when you don’t why should he stick around? He approached you and he wasn’t asking to be your friend in the first place! Perhaps we shouldn’t get a guys hopes up by being ‘friends’ wid him (while he gasses up our ego’s) in the first place! But I think if you genuinely like someone its more than physical and if you like their personality the friendship shouldn’t have to end! But I realise it’s a little deeper than that and sometimes its best not to hold on to these dangerous friendships.

I always wonder whether that ‘best friend’ you’ve known since you were five is really your best friend! I don’t think I can call a guy my best friend unless he’s 100% not interested or gay! Because the way God made us means it is always possible for the wrong feelings to develop even where there is no initial physical attraction. You love your girlfriends so you can fall in love with your male best friend. It happens. My closest male friend a while back was such because I thought boi I don’t see him in no other way and I know he sees me as a sister. But one day he reminded me that I’m not his sister and it’s not impossible for him to suddenly find me attractive! From then I knew that no matter how well you think you know what the other is thinking, you never really do!

And finally, why do we even need to be best friends or so close with the opposite sex anyway. As children of God we know what the deal is. Sisters in Islam you know what the guidance on free mixing is! Nature is real. And we all know how God created us. There isn’t much I can get from a guy that I can’t get from a female friend! Yes I can say that coz I have a brother but I still just don’t really think deep best friend friendships between males and females exist!!